It’s for this reason I check my mail about once a week. I get mail about 3 days a week and never in bulk so I simply don’t bother.

This week was different though. This week there was an outpouring of love and affection from friends and family.

The first was from Georgia and contained so many of my favorite treats that I wasn’t sure how to attack them. (No worries, I found a way..nom nom nom).

The highlight for me had to be the Black and White cookie, it was fantastic. The glass bottled Cheerwine was a close second though, they didn’t last two days. (I’m not good at rationing goodness, I want it all in my pie hole)

The second was another surprise, this time from home. My dad and G’ma decided I was doing without two of my favorite things needlessly so they sent this:

Two treats from North Carolina that aren’t easy to obtain out here in the ‘burbs of Portland. It’s little things like this that mean the world to me, just to know I’m being thought about and that something as simple as a 12 pack of soda or cookie from a deli I like can make me smile like I’d won on a lotto ticket.

The final surprise came today, something from Florida. I was told to be on the lookout for it but really had no clue what to expect. Turns out it was something non-edible but equally as thoughtful.

1 of 5000 made. Disney watch for an anniversary of The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s a very nice piece and will fit perfectly with my collection of NBX merch.

While this likely won’t change the  pattern of junk mail, bills, and random little magazines, it served as a reminder that the mail isn’t always useless and sometimes it brings more than bills, letters, and goods – it carries love and a smile from across the country.

So I took a trip to Mt. St. Helens yesterday. My traveling companions and I decided to go to the crater side, something about being able to see what nature can do when it’s on the more destructive side of the scale was too good to pass up. Besides, it’s been 32 years (I was 5 months old when it happened) how much damage could still be there?

A lot.

There is still ash everywhere. There are trees that are twisted and broken still littering the mountaintops like match sticks. The rivers are still murky. While wildlife was around it was still sparse for 5 miles in front of the mountain. We did spot some elk about three miles out but that’s all I could see through the telescopes.

It was awe inspiring though, even from 6 miles away it looked big enough to reach out and touch. I can’t imagine what it looked like when it was 1,300ft taller.

That trip did cement me as a mountain man (as opposed to city man, ocean man, or desert man). I never feel more at home than when I feel like I’m at the top of the world and can look down for thousands of feet. The air is cooler, somehow cleaner in the mountains (except for all the ash flying around at this particular one).

The only picture of me I have on display at my place is a panoramic of me in the Alps in Austria. Some of my fondest memories are in the mountains in Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and Colorado.

I can relax at the beach. I don’t mind catching a tan and dipping my toes in the water. I’m not at home there though, it’s a vacation spot for me. I’m home in the mountains, the tranquility for me is unmatched. If I could make a living from the top of a tall peak that’s where I’d be typing this from (if I was typing at all).

I am guilty of this. I fall into the trap of saying things like “I’ve worked hard enough, I deserve a huge bonus” and then get mad when it doesn’t happen. “I work so hard I deserve to have the car I want”, “I am a nice guy I deserve have love”, “I’m so stressed out I deserve a break”, etc..  deserve, deserve, deserve.

While this all may be true where the disconnect happens is that I fail to realize that I’m not the only one. I’m wired to believe that, without a second thought, my desires are paramount and more significant than everyone else’s. I attempt to put myself at the center of the universe.

It’s refreshing when that perspective is readjusted. Even if it’s just for a moment or an hour. You see things which make you realize you can’t possibly carry a universe on your shoulders let alone even a small spec of one.

That’s where I was yesterday when I realized I was in no condition to hold a universe on my back. This is Mt. St. Helens, the north face (or what’s left of it).

This photo was taken from 6 miles away at 4700 some odd feet above sea level.  To give you an idea of scale – the crater is a little over a 1 mile wide and 2,000 feet deep. Everything below you see is ash. Some of it 600 feet deep.

The seer scale of the mountain, the destruction, and the new life left me in awe.

It occurred to me that things like this usually do. Seeing the Alps in Austria left me the same way. Gazing out over the Pacific in Hawaii  or the Atlantic in North Carolina has a similar effect. It’s a reminder to me that I’m not so self important.

If that mountain was in my way I couldn’t move it. I’d have to go around it, over it, or with enough explosives and know how maybe through it. That mountain doesn’t care about what I think I deserve or how strong I think I have to be. That mountain, like most other things in nature, simply exists. It doesn’t see itself as an obstacle, a trophy, something to be conquered, or something to be moved. It simply is.

I try to be like that when I’m cognizant about my behavior. Simply be. Do what I need to do to make it through another day and stop placing these expectations on myself (and others) that fuel my “deserve” cycle.  In the grand scheme of things I’m but a small stitch in time on this planet and a speck of dust to the universe. I certainly need to make the most of it while I’m here but it’s a scientific fact that a temporary speck of dust is nowhere near prepared to anchor a universe.

Welcome to my Thursday night.

I watched the Blues beat the Sharks and go up 3-1 in the series. Prior to that I worked out nearly two hours and destroyed my stress with weights. Somewhere in between I had dinner with an out of town coworker and discovered this song (which made me happier than the whiskey).

I decided to try a blend of old favorites and some new stuff and rank them in order of drinkability.  The criteria was simple:

1. How well does it go with my pipe
2. How much burn does it leave in my chest
3. How smooth does it feel in my mouth

I’m not sophisticated enough to pick out which whiskey has notes of vanilla, oak, or whatever. Since this is my whiskey and my mouth I figure I could set the criteria in which I’ll be using if I ever buy another bottle.

I started with the moonshine. 80 proof, so tame for ‘shine.  It was basically exactly what I expected out of liquor store moonshine. A little thick, flavor is kind of sweet but very harsh. If you know what mash smells like you’ll instantly recognize the corn, grains, and sugar smells. That doesn’t mean it’s good though. It’s not bad either. It’s a bit of a stiff drink and the reaction of the general public tends to be exaggerated because “it’s moonshine”.  What it really is (in taste anyway) is bourbon without the aging/mellowing.  This is my version of Jager. It’s what I want at the parties for the “let’s all do a shot” moment.

Up next my favorite whiskey to drink straight. At least until tonight.  That’s not saying this suddenly got bad I’m just saying I’ve got a new favorite.  Makers isn’t a sour mash so it’s surprising to me that this would be my favorite whiskey. I’m a big fan of the Tennessee sour mash. Just something about it that sits right when I’m drinking straight whiskey. However, the first time I tried this I was in love.  Tonight, that old love was still alive and reminded me why I keep a bottle on hand. Goes great with my pipe, pleasing smell, smooth in my mouth, and a slow burn that’s not overwhelming. This also makes the cocktails I like even better – Mint Julep, Manhattan, and Old Fashioned. I highly recommend everyone have this on hand.

Good ol’ Jack. This is my guilty pleasure. Every honky tonk carries this stuff. Every little redneck dive I’ve been in, every 4 star hotel I’ve been in around the world, and every chain bar and grill out there has this stuff. It’s got a bite to it, starts in the mouth and you feel the burn for a while. It’s been known to make me do things most would consider out of character for me. (Ah, fuzzy memories).  This is my go to when I’m out with family or friends. Usually on the rocks. I like it a little watered down and slightly chilled. That’s why it didn’t fare so well in the final standings – it’s not particularly good for sipping and the burn is intensified when you’re smoking your pipe. Everyone should have at least one Jack hangover in their life though – get a bottle.

Up next – Gentleman Jack. As I learned at my tour of the Jack Daniel’s distillery this is Jack D that’s mellowed – then mellowed again. They drip it through charcoal filters and it takes some of the “heat” out (for lack of a better term). The difference is more than subtle when you compare the two. It’s got the smoothness of the Makers Mark with the flavor of the sour mash. It was like nectar – a soft slow burn that went wonderfully with my pipe. I had an excitement after I drank this one. It nailed the points that I look for smoothness, compatibility with my pipe, and burn. It has a clean taste with no real left over residue and it left me wanting more. I was highly impressed with this selection.

Final taste was Angels Envy. There’s kind of a neat story that came on the bottle. It’s worth reading. This surprised me in a good way.  Very smooth and almost delicate (for a whiskey). It had a bit of a finish on the tongue and that’s what I didn’t like about it. It wasn’t a bad finish it simply lingered longer than I like with a pipe. If I were offered this at a bar I could sip on it all night. This is a delightful Kentucky bourbon and if you like bourbon at all you should immediately fall in love with this… if you’re not a bourbon drinker this may change your mind. It’s got a more complex taste than I can really describe. Warm in the mouth, slow burn but not too rough, and leaves a bit of a lingering taste that is nice (but I’m not sure I’d recommend it with pipe/cigar).

So those are my 30,000 ft views on the whiskey samples I had based off the criteria I made up. So of these I had a fairly clear winner.

I ranked them in order from highest to lowest (based off my criteria)

I’d be happy to take further whiskey suggestions from you guys.  What’s your favorite sippin’ whiskey?

Huey Lewis Wednesday may be the greatest idea ever. You see about 21 years ago I was spending time with one of my favorite uncle’s. My uncle, aunt, sister, and I would do very cool things around central Florida. (Disney, Wizards Castle, water parks, beach, hiking, Dairy Queen, etc..) The soundtrack that powered a lot of those trips was Huey Lewis and the News.

I don’t hear it much anymore but when I do it takes me back to those days and those very fond memories.

Music is powerful in that way. So today has started out on a very positive note, some childhood music (that I can actually appreciate as an adult, unlike, say, Skid Row or EMF) that makes me think of a time in my life that I tend to typically forget about.

Thanks Uncle Terry.

So in an effort to fight this weight loss plateau and “be kinder to my body^[1]” I’ve been instructed by my trainer to change my eating habits.

I typically skip breakfast, eat at a restaurant for lunch, and either skip dinner or eat a few PB&J’s, few slices of pizza, etc..

With the workouts that I’ve been doing my body has moved into “maintain mode”. Mainly because I’ve cut way back on both workouts and meals – so I’m not gaining but I’m not losing.

Well, over Lent I’ve given up everything but water to drink – I even cut out protein shakes since I cut back on my weight lifting and boxing. I also cut out sweets and fast food.

I was thinking that even my reduced workout schedule (injury related, btw) that reducing the amount of crap I put in my body that I’d still see some results.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So now we are trying the “6 meals a day” thing and adding in things I’ve been missing. Hence, I’ve spent $250 in what I would have referred to before as snacks. However it’s not been too bad. Some trial and error about the stuff I can stand and the stuff that’s simply out of the question.

I’m also realizing after a few weeks of this that because I eat smaller portions on a more regular basis I can’t finish a big meal like I used to. My brain gets the “I’m full” signal faster. It’s interesting to me that I’d never considered that and it really was one of those moments when the lightbulb went off for me.

Now that my foot has regained some strength and stamina I’ll be back on my workout routine just with less running. As much as I’d rather be outside pounding pavement that’s what busted my foot up (it was already busted up that just made it worse) so I’m stuck doing different things (i.e. elliptical machine) for cardio.

The positive through all this (because eating this crap instead of a steak at lunch sucks) is that I’ve discovered Yoga. I may not fit in with all the weird yoga socks and zen mindset but it’s done more for my core strength in 4 weeks than any amount of crunches I could have cranked out before. Plus, when I’m not being hard on myself for not having mastered the poses, it’s actually relaxing.

^[1] Kinder to my body by torturing my taste buds, good senses, and depriving myself of Double Stuffed Oreos, Sweet Tea, Biscuits and Gravy, and Sonic.. God how I miss Sonic…

Questions I am regularly asked:

1. Are you Catholic? (No)
2. Why do you do it? (Answer coming up)
3. What kind of stuff do you give up? (It varies year to year)

See, Lent for me has a wide variety of meanings because it’s ultimately, in my opinion, about proving something.

When you look at it from a Catholic point of view (which again, I’m not) it’s a very holy and spiritual time (on paper and in spirit).  Since wiki can put it into words better than I can – here is the most basic defination of Lent from a religious point of view:

The traditional purpose of Lent is the penitential preparation of the believer—through prayer, penance, repentance,almsgiving, and self-denial. 

Now this can be translated into almost any daily person Catholic or not.  What drew me to it was originally was to see if I could change something about myself. My first ever lent I gave up caffeine. At that time I was drinking between 60-120 oz of soda/sweet tea per day.  No milk, no water, no sports drinks unless I was sick, and no real reason to stop. I was working third shift off and on and got hooked on soda like people get hooked on cigarettes or heroin.  I’d go 10 hours without the stuff and my body would ache, become sluggish, and the headaches were terrible.

I had honestly never heard of Lent until my roommates and I were out eating Italian on Ash Wednesday and I was asking why people had “x’s” on their foreheads. The concept was appealing – it was a challenge.  Take something you think you can do without and fucking do without it.

It starts to put things in perspective about needs and wants versus the amount of will power and determination you have.

Each year it gets a little harder for me because I expand the list out a little further. Not only is it giving something(s) up it’s adding something that’s hard or new. I think forcing yourself to learn/do something new takes as much willpower as denying yourself something.

So this year, it’s a pretty extensive list.

• Drink only water and protein shakes
• 24 hour fast once per week
• 6 days a week working out for at least one hour
• No fast food
• No sweets
• Out of bed at 6am regardless of the amount of sleep I’ve had
• Learn the 12 bar blues and play it without looking at my hands
• One hour a day of silent meditation/prayer/relaxation
• No cheating on Sunday’s
• Run / ride my bike into work 3 days a week, regardless of weather
• 100 situps / 100 pushups per day (on top of the gym or other exercise)
• Practice the art of forgiveness once per day (time to let some of these demons go…)

….and that is my Lent for this year. It’s an altered lifestyle for 40 days. This year is about pride in who I am and letting go of old chains. It’s about not looking to food for comfort, not looking to the past for anger, and not confining myself to my apartment all the time. This is about building on my foundation and no longer feeling the need to apologize for who I am or where I come from.

This is the most direct approach I can think of to tackle this and with a spiritual connotation (I may not be Catholic but I’m good at feeling guilt) and putting it out here so people understand and can hold me to this standard I’m setting, I feel it’ll help make it a success.  The hardest part about all of this is not having a support system here. My friends and family are all far away so this falls squarely on my shoulders.

So this is the journey I’ve embarked on.  The caffeine withdrawal headaches are fucking brutal. I feel tired, cranky, and angry when I’m not focused on doing something. I recognize from the past that this goes away in a few days and I start coping and my body regulates.

My goal is the same as it always is (regardless of task list) – to prove to myself I can do something I set out to do. To be decisive, make my decision, and stick it out. In the grand scheme of things 40 days isn’t so bad. A little over five weeks and then I’m free to indulge myself as I see fit.

Are any of you all doing anything for Lent? I’m curious to see what kinds of things are given up/added and how successful you’ve been in the past. Leave a comment below or on the Facebook wall.

I forgot my gym bag in all my guitar excitement – so I’m back home to grab my boxing gloves and sexy LSU workout clothes.

I came into a song that makes me both sad and happy at the same time.. happy because I like it but sad because my ex-wife and I slept together for the last time while it played. Bittersweet memory.

Paulo Nutini – Last Request

The best news is that a few years ago that song might have destroyed me from the inside out – I was a wreck for a few years. I can listen to it now and enjoy it and understand how to place that memory back on the shelf and not let it break my heart all over again.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a wreck but for different reasons now

Off to destroy a heavy bag and my abs now – then home later for some gaming and conversation while enjoying some good beer and my pipe.  Not a bad Friday if you ask me.

So this is what I did tonight… after being stretched out like pretzel dough.

Go ahead, watch it. Learn about cobras and downward facing dogs. Now close your eyes and imagine my fat goofy ass doing that. (It’s ok to laugh)

This was session two with the flexibility specialist. We worked hamstrings, shoulders, arms, and calf muscles. I’ve never paid for such intense pain to be applied to me. She’s like the anti-dominatrix – sweet, pleasant to be around, encouraging, but kicking my ass for 60 solid minutes.

Protip: If someone is stretching you out you will break a sweat and make faces that look like you were just kicked in the sack by a horse.

After the stretching she said “I want you to start coming to my Yoga class, you will need to know our Sun Salutation. She rattled off a bunch of poses in Hebrew or something and I managed to make out “plank”, “downward facing dog”, and “cobra”.

I decided I liked cobra best because that means when I can finally do it properly I think I get a gun that shoots red lasers that never kill anyone. My boss will have a raspy voice and I’ll have sex with Baroness.

Wait..what? Nevermind.

So I did Yoga, felt like a total fool surrounded by meat heads pumping iron, but I’m likely more sore than they are right now. I was stretched out to my pain threshold. I feel like I was hit by a car. Then I did back/shoulders/abs before coming home.

…tomorrow… Boxing.

I’m up to 25 situps and 20 pushups. Nowhere near 100 consecutive but it’s a start. Considering the weight I’m still pushing I’ll challenge you skinny folk to do it in a weighted vest. (Seriously, pushups are fucking brutal)

I’m still maintaining my fitness goals for the year on top of the resolutions – so far so good. The diet, not so much – I’m doing alright calorie wise but the carbs just keep entering my face. I’ve cut way back but not down to the 20 or so a day that I need to be consuming to make this diet thing work.

The biggest side effect of no carbs is no energy – my body after three days becomes lethargic and angry. My reflexes are slower, I’m short tempered, and I don’t sleep as well (though I never really sleep well so I can’t blame the lack of carbs on that) as I should.

I’m up to three sessions a week of personal training – Monday is flexibility lady (stories on her to come), and Tuesday / Thursday are boxing coach. (25 minute workout, 20 minutes in the ring type thing)

So, one month gone in 2012 and I’m tracking with goals and resolutions.

Need to focus a little more on work/life balance and creating a social circle here but in the mean time we’ll get some hobbies going and keep up the fitness.

It was a simple statement:

“I will not be running tonight”

Do you realize how much of a light year away that statement is from the previous statements:

“I can’t run a mile”
“I wish I could walk a mile without being winded”
“I’m really ok with how I look and feel, if I’m gonna die – might as well be young, fat, and happy”

I will not be running tonight because I’ve done my miles the past few days and had 4 hours of gym/trainer/boxing/running already – tonight I truly feel I deserve a break and a recovery day.

If I wasn’t sore on every inch of my body my tear duct might shed a tear of happiness.

This is my resonator. It’s a Recording King; brass body, nickel plated, tri-cone design.

[Show as slideshow]

This is for one of my 2012 resolutions.

I’ve got it tuned to an open G so that I can play some music like this (by January next year I want to be able to play this song).

I got a great deal on it from a local guitar shop and I’ll be starting lessons in a few weeks. I’m hoping to get back to Georgia and North Carolina around the end of the year, I’ve got a few guys I’d love to pick with back home.

Historically it’s always been things like “lose fifty pounds”, “travel to Amsterdam”, “go on a national ad campaign against bald vagina” – you know – the usual crap people say they’re going to do while they’re drunk on New Years eve trying to find someone to sex up kiss at midnight.

So as I mentioned up in paragraph one the theme this year will be to resolve to do/be five things I’ve always wanted to do/be.

In no particular order they are as follows:

1) Learn to ride a horse
2) Learn to ride a motorcycle
3) Learn to play the blues guitar
4) 100 sit-ups / 100 push-ups without dying
5) Go to Vegas and take $1,000 gambling money

Allow me to break it down further

Learn to Ride a Horse: It’s not just about riding but about caring for and learning how to gear up the animal. It’s my goal later in life (assuming the Mayans are full of shit) to own a couple of horses. I love them and all of the riding I did as a kid (and the trail rides as adults) have engraved in me the desire to own a couple of nice horses. No time like the present (or spring time out here) to learn how to handle the beasts before I drop the cash on them later in life.

Learn to Ride a Motorcycle: I had a dirt bike as a kid.  It was a Yamaha YZ-80 and it was a blast. I grew up around motorcycles and quads and I’m now ready to own one. I’ve been looking at them since I was 25 but kept saying I need to be older, I need to understand better my sense of  mortality, and more stable financially. I’ve done my research, I know which one(s) I want, and I’m ready to make the leap. So I’m looking for the bike(s) I want in this area and sometime this year will have one.

Learn to Play Blues Guitar: I’ve always wanted to play guitar but never really wanted to dedicate myself to the time it would take to do it right. A few years ago I really started really getting into that Delta Blues sound and fell in love with the resonator style guitars. It’s a tinny sound but with warmth and it seems like it was made for the slide. Since I have very little social life out here outside the gym/work I’ve decided that I’ll be signing up for lessons and picking up a resonator to get my Delta Blues on. (Lord knows I’ve accumulated enough to sing about over the years)

100 Sit-ups / 100 Push-ups: This is a fitness goal. I struggle with the basic core exercises so I’ve been focusing most of my training on core, speed, agility, flexibility, and cardio. The pinnacle for me would be to hit my goal weight but the flag on it would be able to do 100 sit-ups and then 100 push-ups. (Followed by a 10 minute mile or less and I’ll change my name to Thor or something)

Vegas With a Little Cash: Likely the easiest of the resolutions. I’ve never been to Las Vegas. I’ve never gambled more than about $25 (mostly on nickle slots). I want to take a chunk of money and head off to sin city to see what I can do with it. I’ve started my Vegas fund and am targeting sometime in December for the trip. Since December is my birthday month and likely when the world will implode I best do it in early December.

So these are the things I resolve to do this year. I’ll figure out things like “sleep more than 3 hours a night”, “work less than 10 hours a day”, “lose the 50 lbs I want to lose”, and “buy a house” for years the Mayan people haven’t cursed (or run out of stone calendar making material).

I watched what she did to this 6’5″ bulked up dude and he told me I was going to hurt for days after.

I don’t have days to hurt…

I meet with her on Monday and my strength trainer on Tuesday/Thursday

I have Wednesday/Friday boxing/kickboxing class.

She wants me to work Pilates and Yoga in there, but not for a few weeks. My range of motion isn’t that great yet and I have about as much flexibility as someone with rigor mortis and an erection (which is to say I’m pretty stiff)

Anyway, the new gym has a hot tub (24 hour), lap pool (24 hour), sauna (24 hour), and a ton of new classes. Pretty excited to be able to vary my workout routine with some stuff I actually like (swimming, sitting my fat ass in a hot tub, and steaming like a clam) with the stuff that’s not much fun (cleans, benching, squats, and m’fukin kettle bells).

Ah well, my goal for the year is well on the way to being reached if I don’t kill myself trying to do the “Flying Dog Sniffs the Mailman” pose (or whatever they do in yoga).