So this is what I did tonight… after being stretched out like pretzel dough.
Go ahead, watch it. Learn about cobras and downward facing dogs. Now close your eyes and imagine my fat goofy ass doing that. (It’s ok to laugh)
This was session two with the flexibility specialist. We worked hamstrings, shoulders, arms, and calf muscles. I’ve never paid for such intense pain to be applied to me. She’s like the anti-dominatrix – sweet, pleasant to be around, encouraging, but kicking my ass for 60 solid minutes.
Protip: If someone is stretching you out you will break a sweat and make faces that look like you were just kicked in the sack by a horse.
After the stretching she said “I want you to start coming to my Yoga class, you will need to know our Sun Salutation. She rattled off a bunch of poses in Hebrew or something and I managed to make out “plank”, “downward facing dog”, and “cobra”.
I decided I liked cobra best because that means when I can finally do it properly I think I get a gun that shoots red lasers that never kill anyone. My boss will have a raspy voice and I’ll have sex with Baroness.
Wait..what? Nevermind.
So I did Yoga, felt like a total fool surrounded by meat heads pumping iron, but I’m likely more sore than they are right now. I was stretched out to my pain threshold. I feel like I was hit by a car. Then I did back/shoulders/abs before coming home.
…tomorrow… Boxing.
