One of the worst kept “secrets” over the last few months would be the fact that I went to a drag show….at a place called “Wild Mustang”.
Let me preface this with the truth before my words give the wrong impression.
1) I was safe the whole time with Nikki, Scuba-Steve, and a Lady Who’s Name I Don’t Know (LWNIDK from here on).
2) I actually had a good time.
3) Some men make UGLY women – I know you all think that’s obvious – but imagine me (if you can stomach it) in a white satin teddy with a white satin g-string, white thigh high stockings,white heels, and ORANGE SAFETY CONES OVER MY “boobs”. Yep. I saw that.
4) The MC was cracking me up saying things like “Make these bitches work for their tips” or “These ladies worked hard for this, give them some tips”.
Ok, so with all that out of the way… lets start this party recap.
If you’re like me, you’ve never been to a drag show. Well, I can’t say that any more – but up until this point I’d never been so I had no idea what to expect. I had some notions that it would be a lot of men in women’s attire and a lot of things that would make me uncomfortable. I was right on both counts – but maybe not for the reason you might expect on the second part.
Nikki and I meet up with Scuba Steve and LWNIDK and this place called Amsterdam. It’s a gay hang out in Atlanta proper. They had good fried pickles. I’m not really a socialite to begin with so it takes a few minutes to get warmed up to folks, especially when everyone knows everyone but me. So I was worried Steve and LWNIDK would think it was because I was out of my element at a gay bar. So I tried to interject some conversation but apparently had a cautious look on my face. I didn’t think one of the guys was going to walk up and plant his cock on the table or anything but I’m like “Hmm, I’m here with a girl… I wonder if I’m offending them” 
Anyway, lunch was over and it was time for the main event (or what I thought was the main event) of the evening. The show at Wild Mustang(s). Like I said earlier, Nikki took care of me. We sat at a table, not in the general crowd. Our backs were against a wall and we had a fairly clear line of sight to an exit 
She was very considerate about things like this.
So we sit down and she goes and gets some drinks from the bar. (Again, not wanting to send me “into the lions den” It all sounds a bit over dramatic, I wouldn’t have had a problem with sitting in the rows of chairs or getting drinks – but she was looking out for me. This is when “Amanda Michaels” comes up – and everyone again at the table knows him/her but me. I was told his name over and over but I swear I can’t remember it – just his stage name as Amanda. So he hugs everyone and then I’m introduced and we shake hands. I guess I have an ok grip because then he takes his voice down about 20 octaves and in his best Barry White goes “Hey there, nice to meet you”.
So now I’m a little more at ease, right – he’s making this a light situation and having fun with it – so I figured I’d relax a little. I was fairly tense. As he walks away to get ready to go Vogue on stage he runs pats me on the knee then runs his hand up my thigh.
…my relaxation was gone and I had this instant look of pure horror/confusion on my face. I regained composure in like .02 seconds but my look was enough for Scuba Steve to start cracking up and telling people I just “Got Some from a Gay”. This makes me laugh, and relax again – I’m surrounded by gay people and some in drag – and they’re making gay jokes. I equated it to me making short/fat jokes (It’s funny ’cause it’s true).
So – now we get into the meat and potatoes of this thing and I get to find out what a drag show is. It’s a bunch of Queens (Ha, that’s the approved term I learned) on stage lip singing to pop songs and dancing around. It’s like American Idol.
It was flamboyant and loud. That’s the best way I can describe it. Lots of sequence dresses, lingerie, and bad makeup. Couple this with random music and the flaming MC – it actually was quite surreal.
…so same ol’ same ol’ until this one person and her backup dancers got up there. They did a FLAWLESS rendition of Rhythm Nation from Janet Jackson. If you haven’t seen the video, please youtube it. It’s a complicated bit of dance work and it was done flawlessly. Turns out the dude used to be a professional dancer, but I didn’t know it at the time.
We stay for the curtain call and head out to this place called the Columnade. This place is supposed to have the best fried chicken/southern style food in the city. What I did not know was that we’d be taking the drag cast with us.
I was told this place had the nickname of “Gays and Grays” – because the primary patrons are either gay or over 60. So I was assured they’d be accustomed to 20 Queens and some groupies. We get there and say table for like 30 or whatever it was and were told it’d be a wait – and there were 13 ahead of us.
So we wait around outside and everyone shows up. It was comical to see the drunk folks reaction to all these Queens. What was not comical was when a 6’5″ queen put his arm around me and pulled me close – said something like “Fresh Meat” or whatever – my mind blanked and I resisted the urge to punch him in the nuts. It was a fleeting urge but it was the fight or flight response and I damn sure wasn’t running from a man in heels, I don’t care how tall he was
So everyone got a good laugh and I guess I was accepted by the herd I was no longer the outcast gazelle just following the crowd. Now some Queens had my back
Dinner was loud and flamboyant (much like the show) but the food was FAN-TASTIC. No kidding, the fried chicken was out of this world. I can’t wait to go back and eat. I think Nikki might have promised to take me back because I’ll be damned if I can find it again. We were too deep in the city for me to even see the skyline to get direction.
So, yes, it was an entertaining experience. I was out of my element the entire day and didn’t die.
…and now. Pictures! 231 were taken but it was dark and smoky so not all of them came out. So I just picked a handful to show you sort of what you’d expect to see if you’re ever invited to go to a drag show.
Nikki & Amanda
LWNIDK, Amanda, Scuba Steve
Yes, I saw this in person
Everyone
Me
David Bowie from Labyrinth?
The Hugger of Keith
Random Drag Queen
Yes, I saw this in person too….
This person sang “Backwoods Barbie” from Dolly Parton
I also feel I should say that like any theater troop, these folks put a lot of time and effort into this show. Coming from so many years of theater I can appreciate that and wish them well the next time they do “Dixie Does Drag”.
-Keith
